Party: The Weight of the World - A Jokes Please! Edish

Party: The Weight of the World - A Jokes Please! Edish

The weight of the world is 5.972 × 10^24 kg and that is PRETTTTTTTTTY chubby*. The Earth's CBMI (Celestial Body Mass Index) is not in the healthy range. Sure the Asteroid Belt is loose now but for how long?

How the Earth can healthily bring the weight down:
- MORE MOONS, duh! Everyone loves the moon, it should have some pals.
- MORE human JUGGLERS juggling heavy things all the time.
- SPICED UP EXERCISE ROUTINE. Sure the Earth rotates and orbits but there is no friction in space, GET SOME RESISTANCE ON THERE YOU LAZY BUTT.
- EXTRACT FOSSIL FUELS, BURN THEM, SWEAT THE WEIGHT OFF (GOOD WORK HUMANS!)

Comedians:

Cass Keeley
Amar Singh
Jane Stanton
Kelly Dyer
Joey Commisso

With Andy Kallstrom and Ross Dauk

Doors at 8:30
Show at 9pm
Cover is 5
Drinks are 4
Space facts are free (on the internet)

*And this is not planet weight shaming, we would never do that. The Earth is beautiful and has a great personality. But Pluto is now fair game that little wiener, no-life-having, musicless, dwarfy floating space rock.